Recently our Sunday morning Bible study class got into a discussion over Adam and Eve being tempted by the devil. The conversation however, was only between the devil and Eve. One man asked the question, “Where was Adam in all of this?” I jokingly replied, “Right behind his wife, letting her do all the talking!” You can only imagine the direction that the discussion took from that point. Unfortunately there is way too much truth to that observation. Men seem to have abdicated their responsibilities as head of the household. Men leave the raising and discipline of their children to Mom. Dad only steps in to discipline when Mom is at her wits end or it is something really bad. Mom is the chief chauffeur of the kids to all of their extracurricular activities (Ever heard of soccer dads?). Men seem pretty content to let the women do all the work of keeping the family intact so they can go off to their man-cave and do their man thing.
One has to wonder what kind of affect this disassociation that men have with their family life has on their children in the long run. Obviously there is an affect. After all, who did OJ Simpson want to talk to in the middle of his high speed chase on the LA freeways? His mother! Even more important is what affect Dad’s disassociation has on the faith-life of his children. Even though the man is supposed to be the head of the house; even though the man is supposed to be the main teacher and example of what it means to be a Christian, Mom usually winds up being the one making sure the kids get to Sunday school and worship. Mom usually winds up being the one taking the lead in helping their child through catechism instruction.
Well we need wonder no longer. A few years ago researchers in Switzerland looked at the influence of parents on their children when it came to practicing their faith. The researcher’s results were astounding and should be a wake-up call to men to start speaking up and showing up when it comes to their families—particularly their children. This is what the researchers discovered:
· When Mom is a regular churchgoer but Dad attends infrequently, just 3% of their kids go on to become regular churchgoers when they get older.
· When mom is regular but dad never attends, just 2% of their children become regular attenders.
That seems to make sense so far.
· When both Mom and Dad attend church regularly, 33 percent of kids grow up to be regular church attenders.
When Dad is regular but Mom only goes once in a while the percent of kids that attend church regularly goes up to 38%.
This added information seems to make some sense. After all there is strength in numbers. If both parents are active, they have a united front and the kids are more than likely to notice that both Mom and Dad think this is important. But hold on to your hat. Here is the real kicker:
· When Dad is faithful but Mom never attends, 44% of kids wind up being regular church attenders!
WOW! Why the difference? Kids aren’t as ignorant as we think they are about what goes on in our family life. They may come to mom for everything, but they know that dad carries the most weight. If both mom and dad are going to church, it’s probably a safe bet (from a child’s view) dad got goaded or roped into it by mom. But if dad is going all on his own, IT MUST BE IMPORTANT. Again, while mom may be the primary nurturer in the family it is dad who holds the power of persuasion, influence, and example. Proverbs 22:6 takes on a whole new meaning in light of these findings—“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is older he will not turn from it.”
