Resolved: To Love One Another

A brand new year is upon us and it’s time once again for New Year’s resolutions.  Here is a resolution thought for the Christian Church at large for 2012—how about we resolve to love one another, even those who don’t believe.

Paul very eloquently writes of love in his first letter to the church at Corinth, “Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails” (4:4-8).  Love was a hallmark of the early Christian church.  It was said of the early Christians, “How they love one another.”  Over 30 years ago a song was written that picked up on that very trademark—“They’ll Know We Are Christians by Our Love”.  The refrain went like this:  “And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love They will know we are Christians by our love“.  Verses of the song said things like this—“we’ll work with each other, we will work side by side . . . And we'll guard each one's dignity and save each one's pride . . . We will walk with each other, we will walk hand in hand”.  And all the while the world will know “that we are Christians by our love”. 

But I’m not so sure the world knows Christians by their love anymore.  It would seem Christians are known by their rudeness, their hatred, their bigotry, their pushiness, and their outright grumpiness and grinchiness.  We seem to have forgotten our manners, showing courtesy to others, and practicing being polite.  And what makes me think this way?  A few things.  We are in the middle of Christmas and as usual Christians are lamenting and belly-aching about Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas, Winter Break vs. Christmas Break and other attempts at secularizing Christmas.  Some Christians go out of their way to force Merry Christmas on people for the sole purpose of making their point and their showing disregard for anyone who would tamper with Christmas.  For a season that is supposed to be filled with Comfort and Joy, Christians don’t seem to be showing much.

Actually, secularizing Christmas isn’t anything new.  Irving Berlin’s Christmas classic, Holiday Inn came out in 1942.  The 40’s and 50’s was a time of church growth; a time when even people who didn’t go to church were Biblically literate.  It was a time of morals and values and nobody ever dreamed of taking Christ out of Christmas.  And yet this holiday Christmas classic movie and its songs are so devoid of Christian faith and the gospel.  Its A Wonderful Life came out in 1946.  While its’ story line involves an angel, that’s about as religious as the movie gets.  The storyline still revolves around what we are able to accomplish.  No gospel there, no Christ in Christmas there.  And yet I don’t see anybody raising a ruckus about these movies and the songs that are in them.  Christians love watching these movies because they are wholesome classics.  White Christmas came out in 1954, and it too had nothing to do with Christmas being about Christ, but I don’t hear of any Christians complaining about it.  The world has always secularized Christmas.  It’s only of late that Christians (some Christians) feel overly compelled to do something about it.

I can’t help but wonder if this drive to keep Christ in Christmas isn’t a distraction from what Christ has called us to give top priority—the Great Commission.  And I can’t help but wonder if that isn’t exactly what Satan wants us to be distracted with.  He has always been the most subtle of all creatures. In the garden he twisted God’s word into a half-truth just enough to make it sound okay.  And Adam and Eve became distracted and in their attempt to gain godliness, they lost it.  And the real tragedy?  They possessed Godliness in the first place!  The religious leaders of Israel were distracted, too.  They were all about outward appearances and the precise keeping of rites, rituals, ceremonies, and holy days.  In fact, there was much consternation on the part of the religious leaders to see Jesus not worry about that stuff as much as they did.  They felt that by defending the letter of the law they were defending the faith.  But the very faith they thought they were defending they had thrown away.  They had become distracted with the letter of the law and forgotten about the spirit of the law, that when the Christ came, they didn’t recognize him!  Jesus focused on what he came here to do—save the world from the peril of its’ sin.

Keeping Christ in Christmas is certainly important for us Christians.  It is the whole reason for our celebrating it in the first place.  But first and foremost God has called us to make disciples by baptizing them and teaching them.  We are to always be about the gospel, for it and it alone is the power of God for salvation (Rom 1:16).  Let’s not become distracted from that by battles over other things that would also detract from our proclaiming the Gospel.  If all the world sees of Christians is a bunch of grumpy, hate-filled people, they certainly aren’t going to be receptive to hearing about God’s love for them being so great that he sent his one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to suffer and die for the sin of the world, thereby winning for us the victory over sin, death, and the devil.  If we must defend Christmas, at least let us do so with love—not just for Jesus but for all mankind.  As Jesus died for us, so he lovingly died for them.

AE

Why Christmas So Early? That's Why!

PASTORAL MUSINGS . . . . .

Radio stations started playing Christmas music 24/7 before Halloween.  Department Stores had their Christmas Ornament sections up and running before Halloween.  Malls have been decorated since 2-3 weeks before Thanksgiving.  And for weeks before Thanksgiving we have heard about the upcoming Black Friday sales and hours.  Now stores will open up at Midnight on Thanksgiving.  Some stores will actually be open on Thanksgiving.  People have had their Christmas trees up and lit for weeks now.  Christmas comes earlier and earlier every year.  And every year Christians look bewildered and angered by it all at the same time.

All of this reminds me of the saying that “desperate times require desperate measures”.  In other words, when people feel desperate, they do desperate things.  And believe me, the world is definitely feeling desperate.  And why shouldn’t they.  The world is finally reaping what it has been sowing for the last two decades.  We now live in a society where truth, moral values, and what is considered right or wrong is whatever anyone wants it to be; People will not impose their values on anybody else.  Children don’t have manners because adults don’t have manners.  Television comedies are built around insulting one another and making people look like complete morons (particularly the clergy and Christians).  The world has thrown away its’ responsibility of being its’ brother’s keeper.  People ridiculed Hilary Clinton years ago for her book, “It Takes a Village to Raise a Child.”  And so now, like the priest and the Levite, people walk by those who are in need so they won’t have to become involved, all the while deploring the careless attitude of society.    

The baby boomers who expected to retire as well off or better than their parents now find themselves not being able to retire at all.  Today’s younger generations are finding it hard to find work because the boomers are not giving up their jobs, and thus their futures are in doubt, and they are angry and frustrated about that.  The world has partied so hard over the last few years (lived life to the hilt with its’ excessive greed and materialism) that the hang-over will take a long time to get over.  The long time coming in the economic recovery is leaving people a great sense of confusion, fear, and hopelessness.  It is taking so long people are feeling so desperate that they will do anything to feel better. 

And what better way to feel some joy and hope than to observe the season of Christmas as early as one can and for as long as one can.  The Christmas season is that one time of the year where people actually practice manners coupled with human care and compassion.  Jesus saw that same look of hopelessness in the crowds that had gathered to hear him in Matthew 9:36—“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”  Desperate times (and people) call for desperate measures (like celebrating Christmas 2 months earlier).  Like Jesus, rather than complain about the world, we should have the same compassion for the world that Jesus had.  We too, should see the world as harassed and helpless because of its sinfulness; we should also, like Jesus, realize that the world is so lost that it doesn’t even realize it is lost!  The Lord has given us a wonderful opportunity to ratchet up several notches the length and breadth and height and volume of our proclaiming Jesus Christ crucified to a world that will do anything and look to anything to find meaning and purpose and respite from the condition that the world finds itself in.  Let’s simply go along with the world where we can and wish Merry Christmas a little more loudly and lovingly; let us sing the carols with boldness and confidence; and rather than complain about Christmas, let us extol the blessedness of Christ having come into our world as one of us for the sole purpose of restoring us to right relationship with him through his death and resurrection.

AE

Parents and Children

Children.  Psalm 127 says of them, “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.  Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”  Children are a great blessing to their parents.  There is a joy and satisfaction that comes from reproducing yourself.  Father and mother seem to have an innate excitement and desire to help their little one’s discover and experience the world in which they live.  And what a double blessing it is when your children grow up to have families of their own and they are both your children and your best friends.  But unless mother and father are careful, children can be a double edged sword—on the one hand a great joy and blessing, and on the other hand, a potential threat to “put asunder” what God has joined together. 

How can this be?  How is this possible?  How could our own children be obstacles to our marriage?  It’s not that our children themselves are the obstacles, but mothers and fathers can unwittingly put their children in that position.  Just as it is hard work to continue dating while you are married, it takes hard work and a conscious effort to manage the two most important relationships in your life—your relationship as husband and wife and your relationship as parents to your children.  By virtue of their needs, children are going to take a lot of time and priority in the life of their parents. 

Every parent wants their children to grow up and have a better life then they had; every parent wants to be able to give their children all the advantages of life that they didn’t or couldn’t have.  Because of this parents can so gear their lives to their children that that relationship can come at the expense of their relationship as husband and wife.  After 18-25 years of working all day, then rushing home to get children to all the extra-curricular activities that they want to participate in, attending all of their recitals, games, performances, etc. there isn’t much time left over for parents to nurture their own relationship as husband and wife. 

Many a husband and wife may have so devoted themselves to their children that once their children have left home husband and wife can find out that they have grown so far apart that they don’t share the same interests, values, hopes, and dreams anymore. 

Any time we are putting too much focus on something we risk getting out of balance.

When a husband and wife are keeping their relationship and their relationship with their children in balance they are doing the best thing they can do for their children.  Children will thrive best and have more confidence and stability in their lives when they see how great a relationship their mother and father have.  Parents do more than raise their children; they are models and examples to their children.

Children don’t have to be involved in every activity in school, after school, or outside of school, nor should they have to be at school from early in the morning till late at night. They can participate in one activity each semester and still accomplish the same things. 

Besides, the more time spent at school means the less time there is for you to spend time with them and being a family.  Children don’t have to have every electronic device known to man nor do they have to have the latest in clothes, toys, and electronics—especially if it comes at the expense of mom and dad being able to spend some time with their children.  That time spent together is the perfect time for parents to teach and model for their children their values and morals; it’s a great time for parents to show their  children not just how much they love and value them, but how much they love and value each other.

While on the surface children seem to have a carefree, happy-go-lucky life that is not the case.  Children worry that if mom and dad are having trouble it could be their fault; they worry about the same things we worry about—what if we have to move?  What if we can’t afford new shoes or clothes?  What happens if mom or dad dies?  What happens if they get divorced?  They don’t have the control over those things to the extent that we do as adults.  Remember, they are dependent on us!  Children need to grow up in a stable environment where they know that mom and dad are okay.  When mom and dad are okay, then they know that they are okay, that is safe and secure.  The best thing that parents can do for their children is to love each other and their children know it.  Children need to see their parents hug and kiss each other—and not just a peck on cheek as one is flying out the door to go somewhere.  They need to see mom and dad holding hands and playfully teasing each other.  Again, as children see this in their parents they will learn how to be spouses when they grow up and how to be parents as well.

It also doesn’t hurt our children to know that they aren’t the center of the universe.  I truly believe we do our children a disservice when we cater to their every need.  Not only will they be in for a rude awakening when they grow up and find out that the world won’t treat them as mom and dad did, they won’t be of a mind to serve others; they will be all about themselves.  Consider these words from Hebrews 12:7-11 concerning discipline:  “For what son is not disciplined by his father?  If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.  Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it.  How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!  Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” 

And finally, it won’t hurt your children if you take a night once a week or every two weeks to go out on date night and leave them home with a family member or baby-sitter.  This will help you work on your relationship and insure that you grow together rather than apart.  If affording a sitter is a hardship, consider banding with other couples and take turns watching each other’s children so you can have some alone time.

Take The Time; Make The Time; Do The Time

Every year I have intentions of keeping our yard weed free and the flowers blooming.  My wife and I both have pretty busy schedules in the summer, and sometimes watering the flowers and keeping the weeds at bay and the trees and shrubs trimmed and

pruned just doesn’t happen.  Not only do I get exasperated with myself for not being more disciplined, I also get a letter from my homeowners association.  That makes it even worse.  This year I was bound and determined to get it right.  I started early and I worked a couple of hours each night in the spring getting all the beds cleaned out.  After all the shrubs had lost their spring blossoms I started trimming away.  My wife planted flowers in the yard and I made a concerted effort to water them regularly—especially in the hottest and driest weeks of the summer.  Guess what?  No letter from the association this year!  The yard looked great.  Even some of the neighbors said so.

But then . . . The last few weeks in August hit.  Time got away and we were gone over Labor Day weekend. When we got home all of our flowers had pretty much bit the dust and the weeds were taking over.  I still haven’t gotten to them.  In fact, I could be out there weeding right now but I have chosen to be inside writing this blog instead!  I tell myself to take just a couple of minutes every morning and pull a few weeds and the task won’t be so daunting.  But I don’t and then the task seems too daunting.  So it doesn’t get done.

Having a garden and a nice yard is a lot of work.  You have to keep at it constantly.  Weeds are relentless at trying to take over everything while the heat of summer seems to suck all the water out of the soil so the flowers wilt.  Nicely pruned and trimmed trees and shrubs don’t stay that way for long—they just keep growing and doing their own thing.  You are never done tending a garden or a yard.  You have to work at it every day and then some.

The same is true when it comes to marriage.  That is why I always tell couples in pre-marital counseling that when they get married DON’T FORGET TO KEEP DATING!!!!  If couples tended to dating the way many couples tend their marriages there wouldn’t be very many marriages.  The point is we tend to work at dating, but then when we get married we figure we are done (I caught the fish).  But remember, the goal of marriage isn’t being married (nor is it children).  The goal of marriage is companionship.  Marriage is just like a garden—having a beautiful one means constantly working at it.  The weeds of selfishness, hobbies, community and organization involvement, career, family, children (yes, children), and the like are all vying to take over the garden of this beautiful union that God has created between a man and a woman.

When dating we are willing to put in the time necessary to be together.  We are willing to change schedules, set aside other things we may want to do or get accomplished, and cut back on time spent with other friends and family all for the purpose of spending time with each other.  And why do we do this?  Because we deem spending time with the other person to be so important to us that we are happy to work at it.  And the result of all the work at dating is worth it because the relationship brings joy and happiness to our life—even meaning and purpose and satisfaction.  I know, I know, when you are married it is different—there is work and other obligations; there are the time demands of children; and there is a need for alone time as well.  Believe me, I get it!  But the reality is this—if you can find the time to be together when you are dating, then you can find the time to be together when you are married.  If anything, marriage should be easier than dating because now that you are married you come home to each other, whereas when you were dating you went home to your own place, then had to go out to be together (not only am I old fashioned, but I am Biblical when it comes to not living together before marriage).  What changes from dating to marriage is simply that we stop working at the relationship.

Take the time, make the time, do the time—to date each other.  Because my wife and I both have time demands on our work we schedule time together on our calendars.  You could do the same.  Set aside time for one another by putting yourselves on the calendar.  Then when something comes up you can say, “Sorry I’d like to but I have a previous commitment that I just can’t reschedule.”  Not only does it work, but it lets your spouse know that you consider them and your marriage to them important.  That earns good husband or wife points. 

Men, the Scriptures have given us the greater responsibility in marriage—that is why the husband is the head—so to get out more help out more!  Let’s face it; we are willing to let our wives do all the work.  But then, when they don’t have time for us or are too tired from shouldering all of the responsibility we grouse and complain.  So it’s time for us to help out more around the castle.  The more we help out the more time our wives will have to spend time with us; the more time our wives have the less likely they are going to be too tired (get my drift?).  Helping out signals your wife that you love and care about her; helping out says you see her and her needs as important.  When she sees that she will be more likely to want to respond to your desire to spend time together.  Plus, you’ll end up earning more husband points.

Men, here is another tip.  How much time have you wasted asking each other over and over again, “what would you like to do?  Where would you like to go?”  As a woman once told me:  “A woman likes a man with a plan”.  Again, don’t leave all the work to your wife when it comes to spending time together.  You made plans when you were dating, so do it when you are married as well.  Be sure to listen to conversation with your wife about movies she would like to see and places she would like to go; ask if there is anything particular she would like to do, and if there is, plan to do it.  Always have a back-up plan in case there isn’t something that your wife wants to do.  If money is a concern, then do things that are free or pretty cheap.  Remember the object is to spend quality time together.  The time spent together will be what you remember and appreciate the most.  That will be the thing that keeps you closer together and keeps the garden of your marriage weeded, trimmed, pruned, and beautiful.

(For many couples kids will be the big stumbling block.  I will address that issue in the next blog.)     

Husbands and Wives FIRST

I recently watched a movie on the Hallmark channel in which a married couple went on the honeymoon they never had.  They left their three kids with the wife’s sister, a very free spirited person.  They went to Europe, but not all was as romantic and wonderful as the husband had hoped.  In one scene, that took place in London, the husband is trying to convince his wife to forget going to the show that they had tickets for that night and spending the night in the room.  The wife would have nothing of that.  She was bound and determined go to the show, after all, they may never get back to London again.

In another scene, the couple is in Paris.  There is a problem at home and the wife wants to fly home immediately because she doesn’t trust her sister to handle the situation.  The husband objects to going home and finally tells the wife that she can go home if she wants, but he is staying.  He goes ahead and checks into their hotel room while the wife goes and reserves a flight home the next day.  She comes into their room while the husband is getting ready to go out to dinner for the evening.  The following conversation takes place between the husband and the wife (the wife’s words are in italics):   

“You want to go home.”

“I don’t want to go. I have to go.”

“No you don’t.”

“You might not care about our kids.”

“Our kids are fine, it’s us you should be worried about.” 

“What’s wrong with us?” 

“I don’t know.  You tell me. We are supposed to be on our honeymoon and all you can think about is the kids.” 

“I am not a blushing bride.” 

“You are to me.” 

“But. . .” 

“But what?”

“I, I don’t know how to be romantic.” 

“We’re in Paris, the epicenter of romance.”

“I just don’t. . . not anymore.” 

“Then we’re in big trouble aren’t we?  For fifteen years it’s been all about the kids, which is great because I’m crazy about them, but I’m crazy about you, too, and we have to remember how to be together, just the two of us.  I know the kids are what you do, and I honor you for that, because it’s the most beautiful thing to me, but the kids are going to grow up, and faster than we can imagine.  And if we have done our job right they’ll leave.”

Now I realize that this dialogue is from a fictional movie and not real life, but consider how familiar this fictional dialogue sounds to a real letter a woman recently wrote to a nationally syndicated advice columnist—“I adore my husband and our two young children, but I am at a loss as to how to see my husband’s love and affection as anything other than yet another demand for my time and energy. He is loving, affectionate, kind, passionate but when he comes to give me a hug or anything along those lines (whether it’s JUST a hug, or a hopeful lead-in to something else), I think, ‘Go the hell away and take care of yourself.’ What is wrong with me? My head knows he is fabulous in every way.”

So maybe this dialogue in this made for TV movie isn’t so fictional after all!  Which begs the question of how married couples, particularly those with children, get into this kind of trouble in the first place?  Let me offer some thoughts based on Scripture.  Too often the purpose and goal of marriage is misplaced.  For some people the marriage, in and of itself, becomes the goal.  Once the “I do’s” are said and the couple is pronounced man and wife, the goal has been achieved.  Husband and wife tend to go off and do their own thing, having checked off their list the next thing to accomplish in their life.  For some couples the goal of marriage is to have children.  Once the children come they take center stage—everything that husband and wife do is for the sake of the children.  But marriage, in and of itself is not the goal.  And neither is having children the goal of marriage. 

The goal according to Genesis 2:18-25 is companionship—a companionship that is so unique because husband and wife are joined in a relationship where they become one flesh.   There is no other relationship like it.  A man will leave his father and mother (relationship of child to parent) and be joined to his wife and the two will become one flesh.  A husband may still honor his father and mother, but his loyalties and his priorities evolve around his wife.  The same becomes true for the wife—her loyalties and priorities evolve around her husband.  Their relationship, their marriage to one another trumps all other relationships by virtue of their union.

Adam grasped the importance and the priority of his relationship with Eve when God brought Eve to him.  God had fashioned Eve out of one of Adam’s ribs, not so she could be a pain in his side, but so the two of them would always be together—side by side, yet  one.  Adam comments about their relationship:  “This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.  She shall be called woman for she was taken out of man.”  While wives today are not made out of one of the ribs of their husband’s, by virtue of our one flesh union husbands and wives can still say the same thing that Adam said.  Husbands and wives are bone of each other’s bone and flesh of each other’s flesh; they are no longer two but one.

Now the Scriptures also say that a house divided against its self cannot stand.  If husband and wife are not clinging to each other, not sticking to each other like glue, but going off in their own directions, because of the one flesh union they are dividing themselves.  Rather than being drawn closer together they are growing apart from each other.  Now Genesis also says that what God has joined together, man should not put asunder.  This relationship of marriage is the will of God, his blueprint for a great marriage experience.  No man or woman, husband and wife included, should be tampering with God’s design of marriage.  To do so is to put the marriage at risk.  To not put your marriage relationship first, but put it on the back burner to elevate the relationship of children or career or any other relationship is to risk putting your own marriage asunder.

(So much for the theology behind the institution of marriage.  In my next blog we will look at some practical ways to implement this theology so that marriages are not rent asunder by children, careers, and other people.  From there we will tackle some other marital issues.) 

Seedtime and Harvest/ Death and Resurrection

I knew Shirley for almost 9 years.  I was her pastor and she was a home-bound member of my congregation.  I visited her on a somewhat regular basis.  We would talk about goings on at church so Shirley would be up on the latest news of her church home and the people there that she knew and loved.  With each passing visit she would reveal more and more of herself and her family.  We would always end our visits on a worshipful note as I would have a devotion with her and we would pray for her and whatever her needs were.  I would then give her Communion.  Shirley would always have an envelope containing all of the CD’s of the worship services that had been mailed to her since my last visit.  She wanted to make sure they were recycled.  She loved to have those.  The CD’s and my visits helped keep her connected to our congregation; they helped immensely in making her feel a part of the church, the communion of saints.

I say I knew Shirley for almost 9 years because she was recently called home to glory by our heavenly Father.  I went to the visitation at the funeral home early to meet and visit with the family before the crowds would gather later in the day.  Shirley’s daughter and I gathered by the casket to talk about Shirley, her late husband, and the service at the church the next day.  I didn’t say anything at the time, but if it hadn’t been for the sign directing me to the room in which Shirley’s body was located, and if it hadn’t been for her family being in the room at the same time, I would never have recognized the body in the casket as Shirley!

All of my visits with Shirley over the years were the same—she always had on a plain house dress and would be sitting in her chair in the living room, right by the front door.  Shirley’s hair was always just brushed to the side and she never had her dentures in her mouth.  But when I saw her in the casket, her hair had been cut at the funeral home and very nicely styled.  She was dressed in a very pretty pink laced outfit.  And most important of all, her dentures were in!  Her face looked nice and full—she looked great!

As I thought about the stunning difference between seeing her at home and now at visitation I knew I needed to change my sermon text and direction immediately.  I had to preach on I Corinthians 15:35-44:

³⁵But someone will ask, "How are the dead raised? With what kind of body do they come?" ³⁶You foolish person! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. ³⁷And what you sow is not the body that is to be, but a bare kernel, perhaps of wheat or of some other grain. ³⁸But God gives it a body as he has chosen, and to each kind of seed its own body. ³⁹For not all flesh is the same, but there is one kind for humans, another for animals, another for birds, and another for fish. ⁴⁰There are heavenly bodies and earthly bodies, but the glory of the heavenly is of one kind, and the glory of the earthly is of another. ⁴¹There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars; for star differs from star in glory.

 ⁴² So is it with the resurrection of the dead. What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable. ⁴³It is sown in dishonor; it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power. ⁴⁴It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body.

To me these words of the apostle, Paul are a beautiful way to explain the resurrection and to encourage and comfort those of us left behind when our beloved family members and friends are taken to be with our Lord in glory. 

Death and burial is just like planting a garden, whether of flowers or vegetables.  I grew up in Iowa and for 8 years pastored a congregation in the middle of corn and bean fields.  A tiny little dried seed about the size of my nail on my pinkie finger, along with millions of other seeds just like it, would be planted in the fields in the spring—all in nice neat, evenly spaced little rows.  Bare fields would slowly turn green as the corn would germinate and begin pushing the shoots of their stalks above the ground.  As the corn would push higher and higher toward the sky, leaves would begin to branch out.  Fields which once were bare and brown were now lush green.  The corn would dance back and forth as the wind would blow over this ocean of corn.  The corn would grow to six feet as tassels topped off the plant and ears of corn began to grow between the leaves. 

It was quite the transformation.  But what was planted wasn’t what was harvested.  From a small seed to a giant plant.  That was what I noticed with Shirley at her visitation.  From plain dress and appearance to one of being beautifully styled and coiffed.  We affectionately call it, “cleaning up good”.  But as I said in her funeral sermon, that transformation pales in comparison to the transformation that will take place at the resurrection of all flesh on that great and glorious day when Jesus comes to take us to be with him forever and ever.  We were gathering to lay her body to rest in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection; to “plant” it in the hope that what we sow will not be what is harvested.  As Paul said to the Corinthians, our bodies came into this world perishable (mortal), weak (sinful), and dishonored (bearing and enduring the consequences of sin).  But he also wrote that our bodies would be raised imperishable (immortal, never to taste death again), and in power and glory (utterly devoid of sin and its effects).  He went on to conclude that we were “sown”, “planted”, buried a natural body (of the world) but we would be raised a spiritual body (of heaven, fully and completely in the image of God—holy, righteous, and perfect as our heavenly Father).  All because Jesus died on the cross to make payment for our sin and win for us the victory over sin, death, and the devil.

Once we plant, we wait with eager expectation for flowers to bloom so their beauty can grace our yards and tables; just the same we wait with great anticipation of the taste of fresh vegetables on our table.  The difference between what we plant and what we harvest is like night and day.  The difference makes the wait worth waiting for.  And so it is with death and resurrection.  What our loved ones will one day be lessens the sting of death that we feel and encourages and empowers us to continue living on with the expectation and anticipation of our great reunion in heaven.   

Men: It's Time To Speak Up and Show Up!

Recently our Sunday morning Bible study class got into a discussion over Adam and Eve being tempted by the devil.  The conversation however, was only between the devil and Eve.  One man asked the question, “Where was Adam in all of this?”  I jokingly replied, “Right behind his wife, letting her do all the talking!”  You can only imagine the direction that the discussion took from that point.  Unfortunately there is way too much truth to that observation.  Men seem to have abdicated their responsibilities as head of the household.  Men leave the raising and discipline of their children to Mom.  Dad only steps in to discipline when Mom is at her wits end or it is something really bad.  Mom is the chief chauffeur of the kids to all of their extracurricular activities (Ever heard of soccer dads?).  Men seem pretty content to let the women do all the work of keeping the family intact so they can go off to their man-cave and do their man thing.

One has to wonder what kind of affect this disassociation that men have with their family life has on their children in the long run.  Obviously there is an affect.  After all, who did OJ Simpson want to talk to in the middle of his high speed chase on the LA freeways? His mother!  Even more important is what affect Dad’s disassociation has on the faith-life of his children.  Even though the man is supposed to be the head of the house; even though the man is supposed to be the main teacher and example of what it means to be a Christian, Mom usually winds up being the one making sure the kids get to Sunday school and worship.  Mom usually winds up being the one taking the lead in helping their child through catechism instruction.

Well we need wonder no longer.  A few years ago researchers in Switzerland looked at the influence of parents on their children when it came to practicing their faith.  The researcher’s results were astounding and should be a wake-up call to men to start speaking up and showing up when it comes to their families—particularly their children.  This is what the researchers discovered:

·         When Mom is a regular churchgoer but Dad attends infrequently, just 3% of their kids go on to become regular churchgoers when they get older.

·         When mom is regular but dad never attends, just 2% of their children become regular attenders.

That seems to make sense so far.

·         When both Mom and Dad attend church regularly, 33 percent of kids grow up to be regular church attenders.

When Dad is regular but Mom only goes once in a while the percent of kids that attend church regularly goes up to 38%.

This added information seems to make some sense.  After all there is strength in numbers.  If both parents are active, they have a united front and the kids are more than likely to notice that both Mom and Dad think this is important.  But hold on to your hat.  Here is the real kicker:

·         When Dad is faithful but Mom never attends, 44% of kids wind up being regular church attenders!

WOW!  Why the difference?  Kids aren’t as ignorant as we think they are about what goes on in our family life.  They may come to mom for everything, but they know that dad carries the most weight.  If both mom and dad are going to church, it’s probably a safe bet (from a child’s view) dad got goaded or roped into it by mom.  But if dad is going all on his own, IT MUST BE IMPORTANT.  Again, while mom may be the primary nurturer in the family it is dad who holds the power of persuasion, influence, and example.  Proverbs 22:6 takes on a whole new meaning in light of these findings—“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is older he will not turn from it.”

Men, it is time we fess up to our sin of shirking the role in family life that God has blessed us with—the gift of being the head of the family.  When Jesus died on the cross, he died there to do more than just pay for our sin.  He died there to win us from our bondage and enslavement to sin; He died there to win for us the victory over sin, death, and the devil.  We are no longer dead in trespasses and sins; we are no longer ambivalent when it comes to our family life.  We are a new creation; we are very much interested and desirous of leading our families as Christ led the church.  That our new life not be lived in vain, let us through the power of the indwelling, resurrected and victorious Christ, speak up and show up for sake of wives and for the sake of our children.  We can have no greater influence on the world than to influence the lives of our children for the sake of Christ.