Outside vs. Inside

I recently celebrated my 60th birthday and I have to confess that I had mixed emotions about celebrating it.  Over the last year I have begun to notice and experience the aging process.  It’s not so much that I am growing more hair in my ears than on my head, or even that my hair is no longer blond but gray; and I can live with a knee that goes out on me sometimes when I am coming down a flight of stairs and I can be patient with cuts and scrapes that take longer to heal then they used to.  No, what really has been bothering me and causing me some concern is my ability to remember things. 

On Sunday mornings when I am greeting people after the service is over I sometimes don’t recall a person’s name until after I have shook their hand and they have walked away!  I have found myself in the home of a shut-in and not being able to remember their name in the midst of praying for them.  I have gone for days trying to remember somebody’s first name or last name until at some odd hour of the day or night it pops into my head out of nowhere.  All of this I can cope with and get around.  It is preaching and my memory that I won’t be able to get around.  I like preaching without a manuscript or notes.  I like being outside the pulpit and preaching from the chancel.  But for how much longer will I be able to continue to do that?  How soon will my mind begin to ramble and struggle to remember what comes next?  No, I don’t like it; not one bit.

So the day before my birthday (my birthday was on a Monday, obviously) I was preaching on I Peter 3:13-14, using the theme of No Fear.  In the sermon I was asking the question if anybody was afraid of dying, failure, success (yes, success), and making the wrong decision.  For each one I had a scripture passage that spoke to why we shouldn’t be afraid.  At the final service, turning sixty must have been on my mind because I added an extra question.  I asked if anyone was afraid of getting old.  That is when the Lord thumped me on the head and the Holy Spirit brought to my remembrance the account of Pharaoh asking Jacob how old he was (Genesis 47:7-10).  Jacob didn’t tell Pharaoh how old he was, he told him how long he had been walking with God—130 years.  Jacob didn’t think of his life in terms of getting old; he didn’t think of his life in terms of how age was limiting or restricting his abilities.  He only thought about walking with God.

And if that wasn’t enough, God further thumped me on the head with Paul’s thoughts on aging from II Corinthians 4:16-18—“So we do not lose heart.  Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”  Praise God that while my memory may fail and my focus may move from Christ to the right or to the left, the Holy Spirit is always there to bring to my remembrance all that he has taught me (John 1426).

Yes, physically I am getting older.  But inwardly, in my spirit, I am headed in the opposite direction—I am getting stronger, smarter, wiser, and more steadfast in Christ.  And I have noticed that too, I just haven’t paid as much attention to that as I have the physically getting older.  But it’s true.  The longer I walk with my Lord the more I find myself relishing our Lutheran liturgical way of worship.  The words to the hymns speak to me more and more.  The seasons and traditions of those seasons have taken on a very rich meaning and purpose for me.  My eyes of faith are observing and noticing more from God’s Word than I have in the past, and that is affecting my perspective, my teaching and preaching.  My personal devotional life has taken on greater meaning and I find myself lingering longer as I read through my daily devotions.

Paul was right.  It is silly and it is dangerous to allow ourselves to focus on the things that are seen—such as growing old.  For growing old is only for this world, a side-effect of sin.  Old age will come and go at the point of death.  I will join my Lord in glory because Jesus died for me to make it so.  I will no longer be old; I will no longer bear the effects of sin as I will be made new.  And when the resurrection occurs my body will be raised to newness of life.  What was once mortal will then be immortal.  What once was a natural body will become a spiritual body. 

No our focus should be on the things that are unseen, for those things, the things of God, are forever and timeless.  I will not lose heart at having hit 60 for the Lord knows my needs and will take care of every single one of them.  I will, however, rejoice in having walked with the Lord for 60 years.  Outwardly I am 60 years old.  Inwardly, spiritually, I am just a baby—60 years young and growing into eternity!